Pada suatu malam 30 Mac 2011

Assalamualaikum ,

Nak cerita SIKIT pasal Dinner Ko-Kurikulum nie :')

Depan : Yaya

Tengah : Yana ♥

Belakang : Eka ♥

Start pukul 8.00 malam , tapi pukul 7 lebih aku still update blog . Entry sebelum nie ha , aku buat dengan sepantas mungkin lah . Bukan sebab takde masa lain aku nak buat , tapi sebab aku rasa aku terlalu perlu untuk meluahkan .

Malam ini aku sedikit kurang keyakinan diri . Entahlah kenapa , aku pun taktahu :/

Nak dijadikan al-kisah , suatu ketika itu ada cabutan bertuah . Konon macam ada instinct lah nie , aku bermonolog "kalau aku dapat , aku taknak bangun" . Satu saat , dua saat , tiga saat , tiba-tiba si pengacara sebut "dua lapan empat" . Hihi . Seperti yang aku dah monologkan , aku taknak bangun . Aku kurang keyakinan diri . Tambah lagi aku malas nak berjalan ke depan . Lalu aku biarkan ia berlalu begitu saja .

Rugi ? Hm tak sangat kot . Bedah (bukan nama sebenar) jealous sebab aku asyik disebut sebagai si bertuah je . Haha . Last sem masa majlis Ihya' Ramadhan pun aku dapat juga , sebagai insan barakah :') Bertuah tak aku ? Bertuah kan ? Haha , perasan sedikit di sini :P

Overall , dinner tue biasa je . Not so good , not so bad =='

Oh ya , lupa aku nak cakap . Masa permulaan makan malam tadi , ada persembahan silat gayung . Tiba-tiba aku jadi rindu . Rindu zaman sekolah dulu . Rindu nak buat persembahan kat padang yang berpasir tue masa hari sukan . Rindu nak buat persembahan menyambut tetamu masa hari guru , hari PIBG . Rindu nak buat Bunga Tanjung . Rindu nak buat "elak tangkap pukul" . Rindu nak buat Pecahan 10 . Ahhhh aku rindu :/

awak tolong LIKE ya ? :)

Aku perlu lebih tekun :')

Assalamualaikum ,

Semester dua nie aku rasakan agak tough sedikit . Pelbagai rintangan dan dugaan datang bergolek , tapi tak kurang juga masa-masa yang indah itu . Semuanya bermakna . Semuanya memberi kesan . Kalau dulu sem satu aku lalui hari-hari dengan senyuman yang sentiasa di bibir , tapi kini tidak begitu selalu . Biasalah hidup , ada naik dan turunnya .

Walau bagaimanapun jua , aku tetap terus melangkah kaki dan terus berjalan . Aku tidak mampu berlari , aku tidak punya kuasa itu . Aku tidak punya tenaga itu . Aku tidak mampu . Kerana aku manusia biasa . Yang terlalu selalu dan akrab dengan kesalahan .

Semester dua . Aku harapkan sesuatu yang masih baik di akhirnya . Kejayaan hidup aku ini bergantung kepada doa kedua ibu bapa aku . Alhamdulillah , aku tahu mereka sering mendoakan aku , tiada hentinya . Untuk terus kuat dan tenang , aku perlukan redha dan rahmat dari Yang Kuasa . Dan demi itu , aku masih selalu berharap dan terus berdoa semoga dirahmati olehNya .

Entah kenapa , entah kenapa aku seperti kurang keyakinan diri . Pelajaran aku , seperti aku rasa ada kekurangan . Ya , mungkin kerana aku lihat manusia di sekeliling aku punya peningkatan diri . Aku bukan iri hati , jauh sekali niat itu , tapi aku rasa tercabar . Kerana aku tahu , aku pun boleh sepertimana mereka lakukan .

Usaha aku ? Aku akui , memang so-so pun . Sebab itulah , mungkin sebab itu . Aku kurang berusaha . Apa yang hebat kalau tanpa usaha ? Dear saya , berusahalah dengan lebih tekun . Tiada apa yang mustahil jika dengan usaha . Kepuasan itu pasti lain jika aku sertakan dengan usaha maksima .

Dengan itu , aku berazam untuk berusaha lebih tekun . Peperiksaan akhir semakin dan terlalu hampir . Kurang daripada sebulan lagi . Tak apa , aku masih belum terlambat . InsyaAllah jika dengan doa dan usaha , aku akan capai kejayaan dunia dan Akhirat . InsyaAllah .

Dengan segala kerendahan diri , aku mohon kemaafan daripada semua yang pernah aku kecilkan hati samada sengaja ataupun tidak , yang pernah aku buat kesalahan . Terima kasih kepada semua yang terus menyokong aku meneruskan hidup yang tidak pernah berhenti daripada dugaan dan ujian Yang Maha Kuasa . Aku mohon , doakanlah kejayaan aku di dunia dan di Akhirat . Semoga doa kalian termakbul dan semoga Allah merahmati kalian . Semoga kalian jua cemerlang dan bahagia dunia dan Akhirat .

* Aku dah terlambat nak pergi dinner ko-kurikulum ini . So , berambus dulu !! Wassalam :')

awak tolong LIKE ya ? :)

Untunglah

Untunglah

Kau selalu aku tunggu

Untunglah

Kau selalu aku fikirkan

Untunglah

Aku rindu ,

Aku rindu pada kau

Terlalu rindu

Untunglah

Kau aku sayang

Sampaikan aku kunci hati ini

Untuk kau , hanya kau

Untunglah kau , lelaki

Tapi ,

Aku pun manusia

Wanita pula

Yang hatinya lembut

Reti rasa letih

Reti rasa penat

Reti rasa sedih

Sedaya upaya

Aku cuba bersabar

Aku cuba bertahan

Aku cuba berasa yakin

Atas rasa cinta

Kau ku tak pasti

Kata dia kau tidak sama

Seperti aku

Kata dia kau tidak rasa

Sepertimana yang aku rasakan

Kerana itu

Aku makin sedih

Aku semakin hampir

Kepada putus asa

Tapi aku tak mahu

Tetap berdegil

Menafikan semua perasaan lelah ini

Apa bodoh sangat ke aku ini ? :/

Apa yang aku harapkan

Sesuatu yang terbaik untuk aku

Dan kau

Aku redha

Tapi aku mahukan kau

Tetap kau

Sebagai teman terakhirku

Ah , bodohnya aku !

Apa yang aku harapkan

Kau di sana

Merasakan seperti aku di sini

Walaupun agak pelik bunyinya

Tapi tidak mustahil , bukan ?

Kembalilah

Agar pulih rasa lelah ini

Kembalilah

Agar ceria hati ini

Kau pernah kata

Hati putihku ini perlu diwarnai

Tapi di mana kau ?

Kau hilang dengan membawa semua warna

Aku rindu :'(

Serius aku rindu

:'(

I wish you know how much you mean to me :'(

awak tolong LIKE ya ? :)

Everything happens for reason , for sure

Assalamualaikum ,

I believe everything happens for reasons . So do this matter of my heart . I'm getting tired of it , almost .

Yeah , now I'm going to where my heart takes me . I still put hope on him , but not too high . I love him , but I leave it to Allah . I miss him , seriously do , but I'm not gonna spend most of my time sitting and wasting it anymore . I wait for him , silently .

I'm sorry , heart . I know I've been hard on you . I'm sorry for the things I put you through . I know you had had enough , but still I burden you . I am sorry .

"Ya Allah , jika dia tercipta untukku , Kau dekatkanlah hati kami . Jika dia bukan untukku , Kau tunjukkanlah kebenarannya dan Kau redhakanlah hatiku , supaya aku tidak tersasar dari jalanMu "

But the feeling .. I just can't let it go , as if it's permanently glued to my soul . Pfft ! It doesn't make sense though , I know . All I know about him is nothing ! I meet him never ! I talk to him , not even once !

Is this what we call "cinta di alam maya" ? Erkk . Do you believe in this type of love huh ? Love is no blind but pure . But we are blinded by love , we are . In this case , am I blinded by love ? Hmm entahlah , not much I can say for I don't find the answer either .

(long deep breath)

* few seconds later

All I can say is I believe everything happens for reason . Not all we think good for us , is actually good for us . And not all that we hate is bad for us . The truth will come out , somehow someday . So all we need to do is , get ready to accept the fate that is written on HIS plan .

I miss you .

And I pray that

You're mine ,

and I'm yours .

I pray that

Allah will give us HIS blessings

In this world and the Hereafter

♥

awak tolong LIKE ya ? :)

The irreplaceable love of mine

Hai Assalamualaikum :) (a warm sincere smile I give you at 3 . 45 a.m . HEHE)

I just realized that I've talked too much about the problems of mine recently , as if my life is down in the dumps . Na na naaa , I shouldn't be like that , should I ? I should kick the habit instead , uhhh errr few seconds seems okay enough , I guess ;) What do you think ? Give me a penny for your thought , will you ?

Peers , I am now currently at home , again . (hehe , I'll be so every weekends , supposedly :P) Being at home is the most precious to me , for "my home , my heaven" . No matter what my home looks like , I still love it most ! Being together with the person I live with for my whole entire life (starting at the moment I left my mom's belly until now) and with my own blood is the most fascinating thing , ever .

Every single things that always mess me up seem to be lost every time I see Mama smiles and laughs . She is cute , really . Hehe . On this 9th of April , she will turn to 47 . Such a gigantic number , isn't it ? But to me , she always look like a 19 years old young lady . To tell you the truth , she is . (At least she doesn't look like a woman going near to 50's)

Here's a story to tell . Mama and my two little brothers went to KL last week for the whole week . My sis-in-law gave a birth on February 9 , 2011 , so Mama was there to keep an eye on Kak Aty's confinement period and to help taking care of her two grandchildren (my cute niece , Adelia and new born nephew, Faris) :)

So here is my Adelia and lil' Faris ♥

One day out of the week , Mama went to pasar to buy some groceries for her to cook , with the two lil' brothers of mine and also Adelia , her grandchild . As she told me , suddenly an unknown person greeted her and asked her if Adelia were her youngest child . And that unknown person is shocked by Mama's reply telling her that Adelia's not her child , but GRANDchild . Nehh ? Doesn't my mom look young , you guys ? Hehe :D

Oh , of course I was not there in the situation cause I was and am here in JB , spending time with books in UiTM Larkin (yeah right , yelah tue...) AND hanging out (most of my time) with my besties to reduce our stress (kononnya lah) :P

But that's not the matter , at all (I think) . What is matter is , nobody can replace Mama in my life . Nobody can replace Ayah , too . Yelah , nobody does like our parents do , right ? When we were still kids , they were the one who comb our hair , wash our excrement . They feed us , they buy us clothes (sometimes they wanted to buy some for themselves too , but they didn't because they tend to buy for us) , they protect us from ants' bites , and so forth . There are too many if I were to list everything . Yet , they never ask even a single cent from us .

Can't you see how much they love their children ? Umph ~

People out there , make your parents as your apple of your eyes , like they do . Try your best to give them the best . Your success and happiness in life is all that they want to see . So keep on trying to make their dream a reality . Don't cry over a spilt milk when there comes a time they will leave us alone in the world (or we leave them first) , but still we don't get to make it real . Saddening , isn't it ? (I pray Allah will give the blessing and best of health to Mama and Ayah)

It's a reminder for myself , actually . Why don't I remind you , too , right ? Sharing is caring , though . With that , I hope you have opened your eyes and start chasing after the success in your life , for the sake of your irreplaceable person , Mom and Dad .

You know what you mean to me , Mama and Ayah . My love towards you both will never be lessen but always growing instead . You are my irreplaceable love ♥ ♥ ♥

awak tolong LIKE ya ? :)

All the memories are to be kept , not to be deleted

"Life is full of lots of ups and downs ."

Yeah , that's true . Nothing goes right when everything seems so wrong . The mood . The feeling . The environment . Everything . Every single thing in life . Albeit the so-happy-looking appears physically , but no one knows the condition of the little heart . No one . But Allah .

"There's nothing more painful than to let your feelings take you down ."

Hmm . I'm feeling a lil' bit tired of talking about the same thing nowadays . But I have to , for 'that thing' is like a devil that keeps haunting me , non-stop . URGH . I tried my very best not to keep thinking about it , and I almost succeed . I'm not going to let my feeling (that bad feeling) take me down . No , I am not !

But , he ruined it . A friend of mine . He did . Hey , don't talk to me about that matter lah ! We are matured enough to think . And we don't need you to remind us . Thanks , but no thanks . We are not blind yet ! Hmm yeah , I admit that I am touched . I remembered everything , vividly , clearly . Thanks for your PURE INTENTION , but it even becomes worse . So just let it be . Don't try to be so caring towards us (much more to busy-body I guess) . We do appreciate it , but we are leaving everything to fate right now .

"Sometimes I found myself sitting back and reminiscing ."

All about us . I forget nothing . But the feeling is now differ from before , like there's something very big is separating us . Like I don't know you anymore . Like , uhhhh forget it . As I told you'all , QUE SERA SERA . WHATEVER WILL BE , WILL BE . The future's not ours to see . Que Sera Sera .

Believe me , I'll never forget it . But the feeling , it's now different . And there's nothing I can do to fix it . Just leave it to fate , to Allah's qada' and qadar . I believe HE knows the best . Told you few times already and now I'm bored :/

awak tolong LIKE ya ? :)

I am not , so you , please don't

Assalamualaikum :D

Phew~~! Hihi . Am relieved . Sangat-sangat . Tadi dah lepas exam hafazan dan bacaan al-Quran . Hopefully , InsyaAllah this one akan sedekah banyak markah untuk carry mark . InsyaAllah :) Rasanya aku dah buat yang terbaik , dan nampaknya MACAM ustazah puas hati .

By the way , ustazah akan mengakhiri zaman bujangnya kurang daripada seminggu nie . Hehe . Semoga perkahwinan ustazah dirahmati Allah dan semoga dipermudahkan segala urusanmu . Amiiin :')

(cerita pasal kahwin , aku pula terasa mcm nak kahwin . HAHA lambat lagi okay , dayah ? :P)

My life ? Ahaa . Macam tue la juga . Top news , aku dah malas nak fikir apa-apa . Que sera sera . As my friend said , biarlah , mungkin setiap apa yang berlaku ada hikmahnya . Oh sebenarnya bukan mungkin , tapi MEMANG ada hikmah pun . Cuma , belum nampak je lagi apa hikmahnya . Suatu hari nanti kot . Wallahualam .

Biar la apa orang nak kata pun kan ? Kita hidup bukan untuk diorang , tapi untuk kita sendiri . Setiap apa yang kita buat , bukan diorang yang tanggung pun , tapi kita sendiri . Biarlah orang nampak kita nie jahat ke , kejam ke , what so ever , yang penting kita kenal diri kita sendiri . Diorang bukannya hidup dengan kita since kita kecil pun . Kalau aku kebulur , bukannya diorang pun yang tolong bagi makan . Kalau aku susah hati , bukannya diorang pun yang tolong aku . Kasi menyemak lagi tue mungkin ade la kot . Pfft ! Get off lah loser . Dan , asalkan kita tak ganggu life orang lain , cukup berbaloi-baloi la tue . Ye dakkk ?

Kalau nak fikir apa yg org cakap , memang masalah kita takkan selesai . Kan ? :D

So , WHATEVERRRR LOSERRRR ~~! WHAT-A-BER!

Oh hey ! Awak nie H.A , saya still tunggu awak okay . Fullstop . :) Semoga awak cepat sembuh ♥

awak tolong LIKE ya ? :)

Hoping the beginning to an end

Assalamualaikum guys ,

"Hope for the best."

This morning , something sad happened . A friend of mine looked gloomy . We asked her why , yet she didn't tell us . Once we finished our class , we wanted to go to the library to print out past semesters' quest papers for the final exam .

She still looked sad . I asked her why , again , but instead she said "sshhh!" , signalling "u better shut up or i'll kill u." . And I , "oh alright , I'm sorry." Then , we walked down the stairs quietly , as I wanted to give space for her to calm herself down .

While we quietly walked , I at the front , she called me and started to shed a tear . And I began feeling sad , too . She told me she can't stand 'it' anymore . She had had enough (me too actually). And I brought her to 'wakaf' and sat down there , giving her (and myself) time to spill everything out , let all the tears dropped and some time to think .

But still , we can't find way to settle 'this matter' . To frankly speak , it's pathetic to see four of us become three . Where everybody noticed . Everybody wondered . Some asked . Some talked at the back of us . I know . And we denied . Denied the vivid fact .

It hurts me . So much . And she too , I know . Deeply hurt . But I'm uncertain about another two :/ Please buddies , reset ur mind . I know u can , but u do not want to . Because of ur mindset . Umph .

In the evening , we participated in an explorace for the English Day , the four of us . I was worried about how we're going to cooperate in the game . But Alhamdulillah , All praises be to Allah , everything went well . All of us can cooperate very well . And we were the 2nd winner :D

And we won this

View from the back

Front view

:)

Actually , we were supposed to be the champion . But instead , we're not . Wonder why . But it's okay , what is more meaningful to me is 'us' .

It's hard to tell you through words . Let me feel it , just me .

I love you . I love you . And I love you . I love US . Let me re-tell you , I LOVE US .

Let time explains . Hopefully something better is waiting for all of us , insyaAllah .

awak tolong LIKE ya ? :)

Life seems so hard .

The worst is ,

I feel tired of it .

Damn tired .

:'(

awak tolong LIKE ya ? :)

When you come to a roadblock , take a detour

"All my life I've been good but now , Oh I'm thinking WHAT THE HELL ."

People won't miss from having problems in life . One problem at a time may be simple , as we don't have to cause the head to turn 360 degrees just to find the solutions .

But , that one sounds weird . As it's like impossible . Is there anyone here in this BIG world that has only ONE problem in your life at a time ? If yes , let me know . I'd be interested to see you . Yes , YOU with a problem ONLY .

These are problems ;

Assignments

Environments

Friends

Family

Heart

Mental

Physical

Work

ETC.

And those lead to a BIG STRESS .

"Yeah . My problems seem small to you because you are so darn BIG ."

This happens . When others tell him/her their problems , hoping that he/she will help them AT LEAST lessen their burdens , but instead , he/she takes it easy . And at last , they commit suicide , as no one cares about them , not knowing that The Only One , Our Creator , is always there by their sides .

"Allah will never burden His servants beyond their capabilities."

Allah knows . He knows the best . He knows best what is the best . He has created us , and He has planned our lives , without us knowing it . Allah is The Almighty . Subhanallah . Allahuakbar .

But it's human . It's us , who think life is cruel . This means Allah is cruel ? Astaghfirullah al azim . Naudzubillah .

Actually , I'm here because I need to tell you that my life seems to be worse these days . My heart feels uneasy . Like the peaceful in me seems lost . Am feeling like nothing goes right . Everything is just so wrong .

It's embarrassing to frankly say that I now , start to hate people around me . Not all . Not one . But few . And this actually makes me feel bad . Yes , Allah hates people who hates others . It's a big sin not to greet people for more than three days . I know that . I know it VERY WELL .

But why ? Why is it I'm so stubborn to understand that ? ERGH . It's satan . The devil . Yes YOU devil , PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM ME !

Now I start to hate myself for hating people .

"Oh Allah , please forgive me for hating people , but they are just so annoying . Oh Allah , please purify the heart of mine . I can't bear it anymore"

What comes around , goes around . I am afraid . Yes , afraid .

My eyes welled and the tears start to fall down . I hope the problems of mine will go away , far from me as the tears do . Disappeared . Forever . And ever . But , it's impossible .

Every clouds has a silver lining . I believe . InsyaAllah .

awak tolong LIKE ya ? :)